367. Dr. Jason Selk: Unlock Your Mental Toughness with Relentless Solution Focus

Jeff Pelizzaro: [00:00:00] The 18STRONG Podcast episode number 367 with Dr. Jason Selk, sports psychologist and performance coach.

What’s up guys. Welcome back to the 18STRONG Podcast where we’re here to help you build a stronger game because we believe every golfer deserves to play better longer. This week we have a special guest, Dr. Jason Selk in studio to talk about his book, Relentless Solution Focus. And really just to talk about the RSF mentality, which is getting out of the cycle of thinking of our problems all the time, which tends to get us in trouble on and off the golf course and learning how to truly focus on the solutions that are going to resolve those problems or at least pieces of those [00:01:00] problems.

So it’s learning how to shift your focus from the problem over to the solution. This is the number one characteristic of mental toughness, which Jason’s going to explain in this episode. He also teaches us not just how to understand this. The knowledge of it, but also how to take action and truly train our brains to do that.

Just like you would train your muscles. So you really enjoy this episode with Jason. Our partners over at Link Soul have been providing us with the best apparel for both on the course and off the course from polos to t shirts like the one I have on right now. Everything that they have is meant to be worn from the golf course to wherever you’re going next, whether that be casual, whether that be to the beach.

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Dr. Silk, welcome to the 18STRONG Podcast. Jeff,

Dr. Jason Selk: thanks for having me. As I said, you gotta please call me Jason. Absolutely,

Jeff Pelizzaro: absolutely. First and foremost, this book, your book, Relentless Solution Focus, has been recommended several times on our last couple of podcasts. And it just happens that you’re a St.

Louis guy, you live not too far down the road, and you were nice enough to come into the studio. So I can’t wait to dig into this, literally just finished it this morning, and but I want to talk to you first of all and foremost about mental toughness. Define mental toughness for us to just kick off the show.

Dr. Jason Selk: We’re going to get right to it, huh? Yeah, for sure. I have had, hundreds of definitions of mental toughness over the last 25 years, but I think the one for me that sticks the most is the mind’s ability, To stay focused on solutions, especially in the face of adversity. Nobody needs mental toughness when the scoreboard is in your favor.[00:03:00]

It’s when you’re losing by two or three runs, you’re down to your last out. It’s when your bank account is dwindling and you’re not sure how your pipeline is going to fill back up. It’s when you’re in a relationship and it’s not as easy as it used to be. I think those are the times where People really need mental toughness.

Jeff Pelizzaro: And one of the most crucial pieces of the book is the fact that most of the time we tend to focus on the things that are going wrong the problems that we have. Can you speak a little bit to really the, that’s the big piece and some of the pieces that we can dive into to help.

Dr. Jason Selk: Yeah, I think it’s important to normalize for people that, unfortunately, the way our brains are built, it is completely normal, biologically speaking, to focus on the problem.

It’s called PCT, [00:04:00] problem centric thinking. Hundreds of years ago, it was necessary for the advancement of the species. That, if we weren’t always worried about the threat that was lurking in the bushes, then we were more than likely going to end up in the lion’s den. And so hundreds of years ago, it was critical for survival, for literally, for our species to advance.

Fast forward hundreds of years, and we live in a very safe time now, comparatively speaking, and so that same PCT tendency Even though it, hundreds of years ago, was so good for us, it’s now so bad for us. We just went through this worldwide pandemic, and the truth of the matter is, PCT will take more lives by far than any pandemic, hopefully, that we ever face.

Certainly anything we’ve ever faced. Because we actually, when we allow our minds to do what’s totally [00:05:00] normal, which is Focus on the problem. The brain releases a neurotransmitter called cortisol. Cortisol, it’s the punctuation of fight or flight. And that is where, the advancement or the survival of the species was affected in such a positive way, was us living a lot of our lives in that fight or flight mode.

However, when that cortisol goes in the bloodstream, it’s a toxin for us. It causes all feelings of stress. anxiety, fear, anger, depression, guilt, but it literally is like a poison. Now, the good thing is that when the cortisol goes in, it’s such a low dose, but shoot, if you inject yourself with low doses of poison, even if it’s just small amounts and low doses over time, that’s going to get you.

And here’s what I tell you, people with. RSF and RSF is, it’s the title of the book, relentless Solution Focus. I think you could [00:06:00] interchange RSF for mental toughness. I really think they’re almost synonymous. So a person with RSF or a person with mental toughness, biologically speaking, is going to live on average 14 years longer.

Wow. It’s crazy. You think about 14 years, think, what were you doing 14 years ago? That’s a long time. And. The kicker is not only will you live significantly longer, but scientifically proven again that you’re going to have measurable increases in health, happiness, and success, is if you can really learn to keep the mind away from that biologically normal PCT, which we know, with some training, doesn’t take major amounts, some, we can actually train PCT to go away And be replaced with RSF.

So I could say PCT is mental weakness and I could [00:07:00] say RSF is mental toughness. With training, we can all become mentally tough, just as. When I’m born, my bicep is completely weak, but with training, I can make that guy pretty strong. With training. Yeah, and that’s

Jeff Pelizzaro: the big piece that I took out of it is, mental toughness to me, that’s a noun, right?

But RSF is you have to take action too. You can read all the books. And one of the big pieces of your book is that it’s not just about the knowledge. You’re actually giving a way for us to train. And I remember the story in there about when you were out on your deck and came up with the idea of Hey, we train our bodies.

We have to train our mind. And so speak to how important the action piece is. We can hear it all though. We hear it all the time, but it

Dr. Jason Selk: really hits home. Yeah, I think it’s why I’ve had so much success in my career. I know it’s what got me the job at the St. Louis Cardinals back in 2006.

That, I think you get a lot of people in the mental health field. [00:08:00] And, maybe you say in the sports psychology world where it’s very much, let me teach you certain things. And I learned a long time ago, knowing something does nothing, doing something does. And again, if you look at, The biology of the brain.

That’s the part I think people must understand that all day long I can pep talk you to be strong. Jeff, you know a lot about making the body strong That’s really your bread and butter. You could teach me so many things about having strong biceps or strong legs But until I get my butt up off this chair and go out there and start doing some of the exercises nothing changes and I know You know with my approach, a mental workout, it is a, when I was working with the Cardinals, it was three minutes and 40 seconds.

People in the business world, it’s a minute and 40 seconds. And there are biological reasons, I need to, with an athlete, do enough visualization where it actually starts to create muscle memory. And we know [00:09:00] you can do that. In the business world, we don’t need muscle memory. We just really need that mental memory.

So we don’t need to have it as long. But, again, it’s not a pep talk. Mental toughness is no more a pep talk than physical toughness is. However, you got most people like me. are going to tell you a pep talk will do it. And I would just challenge you. And I think this is why in my career, the people I’ve worked with have had a lot of success that we don’t talk about it.

We do it, we train it. And once you train it, you really can’t. Not have it there when you want it.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Can you break down a little bit of what RSF stands for? How do you go from that PCT thinking to more of the solution focused thinking?

Dr. Jason Selk: Yeah, so just definition, RSF is Relentless Solution Focus. And the definition I use is within 60 seconds replacing all negative or problem focused thought with Solution focused thinking, the reason we want to do it [00:10:00] quickly, the 60 seconds and I don’t know that people need to get their stopwatches out or protractors out, but the whole idea is to move your thoughts from problem to solution and do it quickly because the longer I stay focused on the problem, the more that cortisol is being pushed into the bloodstream.

Now, I told you, cortisol makes you feel like garbage, but it also makes you stupid. If you think about fight or flight, your brain, the essence of fight or flight is your brain is just losing its ability for detailed thinking. Translation to me is, you become dumb. And I know this, if I’m trying to solve a problem, I need to be as smart as possible.

So I want to, as quickly as possible, start working on the solution. But again, it’s completely abnormal. It’s biologically ingrained for me to think about the problem. And then most people believe, and I call this the great myth, that most people believe if you start thinking about a problem, it will naturally [00:11:00] lead you to a solution.

And there’s just no empirical evidence anywhere to support that. When I first...